If someone you met online professes strong feelings quickly, always has an excuse not to video-call or meet, and eventually asks for money, gift cards, or help with a crypto “investment,” it’s very likely a romance scam. The relationship is the setup; the request for money is the goal.
What this scam looks like
Romance scammers work slowly and patiently. They build trust over weeks or months on dating apps, social media, or even a “wrong number” text that turns friendly. The persona is appealing and often unavailable in a way that sounds legitimate — military deployment, an offshore oil rig, working abroad.
Then a crisis arrives: a medical bill, a customs fee to receive a gift, a locked account, or a “can’t-miss” crypto opportunity they want to share with you. The ask often starts small and grows.
Example is illustrative and de-fanged; links are shown broken so they can't be clicked.
Red flags to watch for
- They fall for you fast and use intense language early (“soulmate,” “destiny”) before you’ve met.
- They can never video-call or meet in person, and excuses pile up when you try.
- The story keeps them far away — overseas contract, military, oil rig, doctor abroad.
- Eventually, money. A fee, an emergency, or a crypto “opportunity” — especially via gift cards, wire, or cryptocurrency.
- Photos look too polished or a reverse-image search shows they belong to someone else.
What to do if you got one
- Stop sending money — and don’t send “just one more” to get earlier money back. That’s a separate scam (recovery scam).
- Try a reverse image search of their photos, and insist on a live video call. Refusal or “broken camera” excuses are telling.
- Talk to someone you trust. Scammers isolate victims; an outside view breaks the spell.
- Report it to the dating platform, to reportfraud.ftc.gov, and to the FBI at ic3.gov. If crypto was involved, act quickly — report to the exchange too.
- Feeling unsure about a message they sent? Paste it into GotAScam for an objective read.
Frequently asked questions
They absolutely do. Long grooming is the business model; the eventual payoff is worth their time. Duration is not proof the person is real.
No. Photos and “IDs” are stolen or faked easily. The only meaningful checks are a live, unscripted video call and never sending money.
That’s ‘pig butchering’ — a romance-plus-investment scam. The trading platform is fake and your ‘profits’ vanish when you try to withdraw. See our pig-butchering guide.
Not sure about a message you got?
Paste the exact text, email, or screenshot into GotAScam and get a clear verdict — Likely Safe, Uncertain, or Likely Scam — backed by live threat intelligence. It's free, and no sign-up is required for text checks.